Let me just start by saying, that I am not depressed, just thoughtful.

Seriously.

When I was younger, life was all just this big mystery.. and I still have a little of that. I don't understand cars, or cheaters, or love, or politics, or economics, or people; especially why women are so bitchy.
Anyway, life was exciting, there was so much to do and so much to look forward to.

Where am I now?
A cell phone payment, a truck payment, an insurance payment, electric bills, student loan payments (etc... you get the picture).

I thought when I was younger I would grow up to be something fantastic - an aspiring journalist, a world renowned singer, a famous poet.
Something where my words and thoughts could help someone, where people might know me.
I guess all along I knew that money ruled the world. But I always hoped love would be a close second.

I've come to realize that you cannot love someone unconditionally, I tried that once and failed miserably. You have to accept mistakes and grow past them, and learn that sometimes the people you want to care... WON'T.

Friends are not forever. Love is not forever, always. Life is not forever. Back up plans are good.

All in all, I guess that I expected more.
I still want every moment to be lost in hushed conversation. The smell of rain to make me feel like I can conquer the world. I want my daddy to tell me stories, and everyday to feel warm and cozy, the way Christmas used to be.

Reality is harsh, Life is hard.
I wish I was in highschool again, where it was okay to be emo and okay to question authority.
Because I'm twenty years old... and nothing makes sense. Poor me... hm?